Where is the Passion?

i have been bitching, to everyone on the new job.

People said and i do agree my life is much simpler n lower pace and i get more free time.

But something is seriously lacking.

From the development and the management attitude, do not think i can really develop that passion with this job.

Not that the previous job is great. But admittedly i found some passion in community work (sort of lah) and tat is how i can drag for 5.5 yrs.

Nevertheless i am still clear why i chose to leave: No life, almost every minute on standby. No justice to my contribution vs pay. A ACM can earn more than me (not talking about veteran ok!). Sexual harrassement. Ugly uniform. Seriously no transparency in the system, unfair treatment and injustice by management. There is no turning back unless (if ever) pay counter offer is like 3 folds what i got (belive me again, that my pay was damn lousy back there)

But... when i read Tibetan Nun blog, it also hit me that despite that 8.30am to at most 7.30pm work day, i do not have that kind of energy and enthusiasm back in those days where i would work till 2am and still dancing away.

It is indeed empty feeling. Like a corpse going to office. Like a prostitue letting the day goes by and get it done and past. (well well, still rem LTA engineer told me that we should treat ourselves like prostitute, do and go).

It is confusing emotion. Could it be the toil so far that wore me out? or really being passionate wiht the job is still important?

Tonite my msn nick as follow "Doctor or Nurse? Pilot or Air stewardess? to be lead or support? "

How come ppl always shine out there but i m always the support? The one that others do not even know the existence. In this world, it is really painful to be the mediocre.